Growing Older, But Not That Much Wiser (?)

You know what I hate about growing older?

Constantly being asked what I want to do in life and what my plans are for the future. And I realize that this is a question that’s been asked to us since we could walk, talk, and perceive what the world could offer, so really, what’s the big deal? The difference is that now we are no longer kids and our answer to this question really matters.

In school we’re taught the basics of achieving our dreams. But what about finding them? Of knowing what we want to do in life? Are those not essential as well? Why is there no class teaching us how to find our passion in life? The simple and real answer is because this isn’t something you can teach. There’s no formula to finding passion. And isn’t that a bitch?

This feeling isn’t something new to me. Actually, I’ve struggled with it for quite some time now. Last year when I was attending The University of North Texas, I saw a guy holding a sign that read: “Sit down and tell me WHY you’re Stressed”

Now, these types of things are particularly exciting to me. I’m not sure if it’s simply because I admire people who reach out to complete strangers or because I’ve watched enough cheesy movies to know that every protagonist undergoes some life changing epiphany after five minutes of conversation with a complete stranger– usually a homeless person. But to be honest, the only thing that I took away from it was this:

“Sit down and tell me WHY you’re Stressed” Dude: What’s stressing you out?
Me (more or less): I have no idea what to do with my life.
Dude: You say that as if every fucking person here knows what they want to do with their lives.
Me: DUDE! You are so right.

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Me and “Sit down and tell me WHY you’re Stressed” dude. (I wish I could get an actual name for you. :/ )

So yes. The guy had a point. How many 20 something-year-olds do you know have their life together?  Yet, despite this revelation I couldn’t help but feel completely… average. How could I take comfort in knowing I’m just like everyone else? I questioned why this was hitting me so hard. So I dug even deeper. I utilized my resources (Google) and learned that there were many people who didn’t reach “success” until later on in life. Ray Kroc was 52 when he bought McDonald’s and turned it into a billion dollar franchise. Vera Wang didn’t start her career as a fashion designer until the age of 40. Henry Ford didn’t create the Model T car until he was 45. There are tons of stories just like these– stories of people who truly embody the saying that “good things come to those who wait.”

After reading these stories, I asked myself if I felt better about my current position. My answer? Hell no. I still feel completely lost and stressed about what’s to come. Furthermore, I don’t want to wait till I’m 40 or 50. 

But you know what I did learn from all this? That it’s okay to feel this way because it’s just a natural stage in life. Why does it have to be? Who gaht damn knows? But I also know that when you’re lost, you’re bound to find something that others haven’t found before.

I know. That’s probably not the cliche answer you were hoping for. I apologize if you came to this post hoping to come out with some life-shattering realization, but alas! I, too, am still trying to get my shit together.

So, here’s to life, here’s to being 20, and here’s to hoping it’ll start to make some sense sometime soon.

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3 responses to “Growing Older, But Not That Much Wiser (?)

    • You know, I’ve never been one to really believe much in “what the stars are telling me” or use astrology as a basis for which I make my decisions, but I think it’s pretty amazing how there’s different forms of knowledge out there– even those that are not taken as seriously by many or might seem uncharted by science. I can’t discount it’s validity because who am I to do such a thing? There’s still so much we don’t know about the world.
      So while I’ve never looked into astrology, numerology, meditation, or divine card reading as a way to figure out my purpose, I won’t knock it until I try it. And I’ll let you know how it goes! 🙂
      Thank you for visiting my post and sharing some insight! I appreciate it!

      Like

      • And blessed is the person who is open minded. You are absolutely correct about much we don’t know in life. That’s why I am still learning.. but it has been a wonderful journey of seeking answers. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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